Friday, January 25, 2008

How to win hearts

SMILE

It is the first arrow and the fastest of them all. It is like the salt for food. It is also regarded as a kind of worship and alms-giving as mentioned in Hadith "Smiling at your brother's face is as charity (Sadaqa)". Sahaabah reported about the Prophet (Peace be up on him) saying that they had never seen someone smile at the other's face more then as the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be up on him) used to do.

The Prophet Muhammad (Peace be up on him) said: "Do not ever waste your good deeds, even by meeting your brother with a frowning face." Your smile for your brother is sadaqah.[bukhari]

BE THE FIRST TO GREET

This arrow is the one that lets you to be in the inner most depths of the others hearts. This arrow needs a skilful shooter. The needed skills are the hearty smile, the warm shaking of hands and the friendly welcoming to the other. Being successfully achieved, such kinds of skills are going to be rewarded, referring to the Hadith: "In greetings, the better is one who initiates greeting the other". You will not enter Jannah until you have Imaan (firm faith) and you will not attain (complete) Imaan until you love one another. Shall I not show you something by doing which there will be love between you? Make salaam common amongst yourselves. (Sahih Muslim)

EXCHANGE PRESENTS

It has a strange charming affection that captivates all senses. Hence, exchanging presents and gifts in different occasions is a pleasant habit however gifts should be within one's tolerable expenses. Prophet (Peace be up on him) told us that giving presents increases love among Muslims.
He said also: "Shaking hands removes hatred and exchanging presents enhances love and ends enmity."

SPEAK WHAT IS NECESSARY

Loud voice and chattering are bad merits. You have to be sweet-worded, tender in expressing yourself. Concerning this merit, The Prophet (Peace be up on him) said "The good word is a charity (is a Sadaqa)." If the good word has its own magic in winning the hearts of your enemies how powerfully it would work then with your brothers' hearts!! Whoever guarantees me the protection of the part between his two jaws (i.e. tongue) and that which is between his thighs (i.e. private parts), I guarantee for him Jannah. (Bukhaari and Muslim) Prophet's (Peace be up on him) said: "Nobility of manners and taciturnity are the best of manners that people are ever characterized by."

BE A GOOD LISTENER

It is to listen patiently and never interrupt the speaker, as the Prophet (Peace be up on him) never interrupted a speaker till he ended his speech. And he who fights for this merit gains others love and admiration, whilst on the contrary is the one who chatters and interrupts the other.

APPEARANCE AND DRESSING WELL

You have to be careful with your appearance so as to be neat, well-dressed. The Prophet (Peace be up on him) says that Allah (SWT) loves beauty to be in everything.

BE KIND AND HELPFUL

Good treatment you classifies you as an obedient, beloved slave of Allah (SWT) as the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be up on him) says: "The more you are in (real) favour of others, the more you are beloved by Allah (SWT) " as Allah (SWT) says in the Quran: " And spend of your substance in the cause of Allah (SWT) and make not your own hands contribute to (your) destruction; but do good; for Allah (SWT) love those, who do good" (2:195) Every good deed is sadaqah (an act of charity). (Bukhaari and Muslim)Whoever provides ease for someone who is burdened with debt, Allah will provide ease for him in this world and the Aakhirah. (Sahih Muslim)

BE GENEROUS

Offering money is the key for most of the closed doors that hinder you from reaching others hearts, especially in these days. Some people behave stingily as if they see the ghost of poverty waiting to attack them once they think about being generous in offering money i.e. not the behaviour of the Muslim. Sadaqah (the giving of charity) wipes out sin just as water extinguishes fire. (Tirmizi)

EXCUSE SHORTCOMINGS

Keeping an eye on others behaviour is a bad merit that blocks your way to their hearts. On the contrary is to have a good opinion of them. So, try hard to give your brothers the excuse as much as you can. Allah (SWT) told us that if someone hurt others then he or she would have to ask for forgiveness from the person as well as from Allah (SWT) in order to compensate the mistake. The Muslim who conceals the faults of another Muslim, Allah will conceal his faults on the Day of Qiyaamah. (Sahih Muslim)

BE HONEST AND EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS

If you loved someone or felt good feelings about them, don't wait, just tell them at once. Regarding this, the Prophet (Peace be up on him) said: "If you felt the brotherly love of Islam towards any, you should immediately go and tell him about your feelings." He added "It is the way relations are to be strongly indicated". Such love is to be blessed by Allah (SWT) , if it is purely for Allah (SWT)'s sake, not for any other personal affairs such as seeking high position, money, fame etc. Unless this love is for Allah's (Saw) sake, it is a fruitless kind of brotherhood then.

Moreover, Allah (SWT) says: "Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except Al Muttaqoon (i.e. those who have strong faith and deeds)." (43:67) I enjoin upon you truthfulness for indeed truthfulness guides towards virtue, and virtue certainly leads to Jannah. (Bukhaari and Muslim)

BE SOCIABLE

It is the art of being social. Here, a kind of misconception could exist between sociability and hypocrisy. Could you differentiate between the two meanings? The difference between hypocrisy and sociability is that sociability is a desirable legal behaviour in order to improve either life on earth or religion or so as to improve both by sacrificing the worldly affairs, while hypocrisy aims at sacrificing religion for the sake of the worldly affairs.
The Prophet (Peace be up on him) said: "Being sociable is as alms-giving."

The Muslim who visits his sick Muslim brother in the morning, seventy thousand angels pray for his forgiveness until the evening, and if he visits him in the evening, then seventy thousand angels pray for his forgiveness until the morning. And he will be granted a mansion (for it) in Jannah.(Tirmizi)

Rasulullah [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] was asked about the deeds which lead most of the people into Jannah. He replied, 'The fear of Allah and good manners.' (Tirmizi)

Family ties are suspended from the Arsh (Throne of Allah). It proclaims: Whoever upholds me, may Allah (SWT) keep good relations with him and whoever severs me, may Allah sever His relation (of mercy) from him.(Bukhaari and Muslim)

On the Tip of a Muslim Tongue

1. assalaamu alaykum (Peace be upon you) - by way of greetings

2. wa alaykumus salaam (peace be upon you) - in reply to the greetings

3. bismillah (in the name of Allah) - before making a beginning

4. jazakAllah (may Allah reward you) - for expression of thanks

5. fi amanullah (may Allah protect you) - by way of saying good-bye

6. subhanAllah (glory be to Allah) - for praising something

7. insha’Allah (if Allah wishes) - for expressing a desire to do something

8. astaghfirullah (I beg Allah for forgiveness) - repenting for sins before Allah

9. ma sha’Allah (as Allah has willed) - for expressing appreciation of something good

10. alhamdulillah (praise be to Allah) - for showing gratitude to Allah after success or even after completing anything

11. ya Allah (Oh Allah) - when in pain or distress, calling upon Allah and none else

12. ameen (may it be so) - the end of a Dua or prayer

13. inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'oon (to Allah we belong and to Him is our return) - this is uttered as an expression of sympathy of the news of some loss or some one's death.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

The Wooden Bowl

I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now.

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about father," said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the
floor."

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl!

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometime he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly,
"What are you making?"

Just as sweetly, the boy responded,
"Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up."
The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.

For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

Prophet Mohamed (pbuh) said: "A parent is the best of the gates of Paradise; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4928 Narrated by Abud Darda "

Friday, January 04, 2008

Qualities of a Dear Friend

Hadhrat Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) mentioned that the good friend and neighbour has the following qualities:

1. Forgive the shortcomings of the friend

2. Show pity to the friend's difficulties

3. Conceal his shortcomings

4. Overlook his excuses

5. Accept his forgiveness

6. Stop the backbiting spoken of the friend

7. Always be with the friend

8. Protect the friendship

9. Fulfill the needs of the friend

10. Visit him when he is sick

11. When he dies, be present at his Janaaza

12. When invited, accept his invitation

13. If he gives a gift, accept it

14. If he does good, then reciprocate accordingly

15. When the friend offers a bounty, then thank him

16. When he needs help then assist him

17. Preserve the honour and respect of your friend and his house

18. Fulfill his needs that accord with Shari’ah

19. Accept his intercession if it is according to Shari’ah

20. Do not make him despondent in his requests

21. Reply to the friend's sneeze by saying "Yarhamukallaah" if he said 'Alhamdulillah'

22. If anything is lost of the friend, then assist him to look for it

23. Reply to his Salaam

24. Support and praise his good works

25. If one has taken an oath to fulfill something, assist him in accomplishing the oath

26. Assist your friend at all times whether he is an oppressor or oppressed. Assisting him if he is an oppressor is to stop him from oppression.

27. Also communicate with him and do not create animosity.

28. Don't disgrace a friend

29. Don't swear at a friend

Top Ten Hijab Excuses

Top Ten Excuses for NOT donning Hijab...

1. I'm not yet convinced of the necessity of the Hijab..

We then ask this sister two questions.

One: Is she truly convinced of the correctness of the religion of Islam?
The natural answer is: Yes she is convinced for she responds "Laa ilaaha illallah!" (There is no god but Allah), meaning she is convinced of the aqeedah, and then she says: "Muhammadun rasoolullah!" (Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah), meaning by that that she is convinced of its legislation or law (sharee'ah). Therefore, she is convinced of Islam as a belief system and a law by which one governs and rules their life.

Two: Is the hijaab then a part of Islamic Law (sharee'ah) and an obligation?
If this sister is honest and sincere in her intention and has looked into the issue as one who truly wants to know the truth her answer could only be: Yes. For Allah ta'aala, Whose deity (Uloohiyyah) she believes in has commanded wearing hijaab in His Book (Al-Qur'aan) and the nobleĆ½prophet ('alaihi salaat wa salaam)whose message she believes in has commanded wearing the hijaab in his sunnah.

What do we call a person who says they believe in and are content with the correctness of Islam but who nonetheless does not do what Allah or His Messenger have ordered? Certainly they can in no way be described as those whom Allah speaks of in this aayah: The only saying of the faithful believers when they are called to Allah and His Messenger to judge between them is that they say 'we hear and obey' and such are the successful. [Soorah An-Noor 24:51]

In summary: If this sister is convinced of Islam, how then can she not be convinced of its orders?

2. I am convinced of the Islamic dress but my mother prevents me from wearing it and if I disobey her I will go to Hell..

The one who has answered this excuse is the most noble of Allah's creation, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) in concise and comprehensive words of wisdom: There is no obedience to the created in the disobedience of Allah.[Ahmed]

The status of parents in Islam, especially the mother, is a high and elevated one. Indeed Allah ta'aala has combined it with the greatest of matters, worshipping Him and His tawheed, in many aayaat. He stated: Worship Allah and join none with Him and do good to parents.[Soorah An-Nisaa 4:36] Obedience to parents is not limited except in one aspect, and that is if they order to disobedience of Allah. Allah said: But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not.[Soorah Luqmaan 31:15] The lack of obedience to them in sinfulness does not prevent being good to them and kind treatment of them. Allah said afterward in the same aayah: But behave with them in the world kindly.

In summary: How can you obey your mother and disobey Allah Who created you and your mother?

3. My position does not allow me to substitute my dress for the Islamic dress..

This sister is either one or the other of two types: She is sincere and honest, or she is a slippery liar who desires to make a showy display of her "hijaab" clamoring with colors to be "in line with the times" and expensive.
We will begin with an answer to the honest and sincere sister. Are you unaware my dear sister, that it is not permissible for the Muslim woman to leave her home in any instance unless her clothing meets the conditions of Islamic hijaab (Hijaab shar'ee) and it is a duty of every Muslim woman to know what they are? If you have taken the time and effort to learn so many matters of this world how then can you be neglectful of learning those matters which will save you from the punishment of Allah and His anger after death!!? Does Allah not say: Ask the people of remembrance (i.e. knowledgeable scholars) if you do not know. [Soorah An-Nahl 16:43]. Learn therefore, the requirements of proper hijaab.

If you must go out, then do not do so without the correct hijaab, seeking the pleasure of Allah and the degradation of Shaitaan. That is because the corruption brought about by your going out adorned and "beautified" is far greater than the matter which you deem necessary to go out for.

My dear sister if you are really truthful in your intention and correctly determined you will find a thousands hands of good assisting you and Allah will make the matter easy for you! Is He not the One Who says:And whoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty) and He will provide him from sources he never could imagine[Soorah At-Talaaq 65:2-3]?

With regards to the 'slippery' one we say: Honor and position is something determined by Allah ta'aala and it is not due to embellishment of clothing and show of colors and keeping up with the trendsetters. It is rather due to obedience to Allah and His Messenger (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) and holding to the pure law of Allah and correct Islamic hijaab. Listen to the words of Allah: Indeed, the most honorable amongst you are those who are the most pious. [Soorah Al-Hujuraat 49:35]

In summary: Do things in the way of seeking Allah's pleasure and entering His Jannah and give less value to the high priced and costly objects and wealth of this world.

4. It is so hot in my country and I can't stand it. How will it be if I wore Hijab..

Allah gives an example by saying: Say: The Fire of Hell is more intense in heat if they only understand. [Soorah At-Taubah 9:81]

How can you compare the heat of your land to the heat of the Hellfire?

Know, my sister, that Shaitaan has trapped you in one of his feeble ropes to drag you from the heat of this world to the heat of the Hellfire. Free yourself from his net and view the heat of the sun as a favor and not an affliction especially in that it reminds you of the intensity of the punishment of Allah which is many times greater than the heat you now feel. Return to the order of Allah and sacrifice this worldly comfort in the way of following the path of salvation from the Hellfire about which Allah says: They will neither feel coolness nor have any drink except that of boiling water and the discharge of dirty wounds.[Soorah An-Naba' 78:24-25]

In summary: The Jannah is surrounded by hardships and toil, while Hellfire is surrounded by temptations, lusts and desires.

5. I'm afraid that if I wear the Hijab,I will put it off at a later time because I have seen so many others do so..

To her I say: If everyone was to apply your logic then they would have left the Deen in its entirety! They would have left off salaat because some would be afraid of leaving it later. They would have left fasting in Ramadhan because so many are afraid of not doing it later. etc. Haven't you seen how Shaitaan has trapped you in his snare again and blocked you from guidance?

Allah ta'aala loves continuous obedience even if it be small or recommended. How about something that is an absolute obligation like wearing hijaab?! The prophet (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said: The most beloved deed with Allah is the consistent one though it be little. Why haven't you sought out the causes leading those people to leave off the hijaab so that you can avoid them and work to keep away from them? Why haven't you sought out reasons and causes to affirm truth and guidance until you can hold firm to them?

Among these causes is much supplication to Allah (du'aa) to make the heart firm upon the Deen as did the prophet (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam). Also is making salaat and having mindfulness of it as Allah stated:And seek helpin patience and the prayer and truly it is extremely heavy except for the true believers in Allah who obey Allah with full submission and believe in His promise of Jannah and in His warnings (Al-Khaashi'oon).[Soorah Al-Baqarah 2:45] Other causes to put one upon guidance and truth is adherence to the laws of Islam and one of them is indeed wearing the hijaab. Allah said: If they had done what they were told, it would have been better for them and would have strengthened their faith. [Soorah Al-Baqarah 2:66]

In summary: If you hold tight to the causes of guidance and taste the sweetness of faith you will not neglect the orders of Allah after having held to them.

6. If I wear the Hijab,then no one will marry me.So,I'm going to put it off till then..

Any husband, who desires that you be uncovered and adorned in public in defiance of and in disobedience to Allah, is not a worthy husband in the first place. He is a husband who has no feeling to protect what Allah has made inviolable, most notably yourself, and he will not help you in any way to enter Al-Jannah or escape from the Hellfire. A home which is founded upon disobedience to Allah and provocation of His anger is fitting that He decree misery and hardship for it in this life and in the Hereafter. As Allah stated: But whosoever turns away from My reminder (i.e. neither believes in the Qur'aan nor acts upon its teachings) verily for him is a life of hardship and We shall raise him up blind on the Day of Resurrection. [Soorah Ta Ha 20:124]

Marriage is a favor and blessing from Allah to whom He give whom He wills. How many women who wear hijaab (mutahajibah) are in fact married while many who don't aren't? If you were to say that '..my being made-up and uncovered is a means to reach a pure end, namely marriage', a pure goal or end is not attained through impure and corrupt means in Islam. If the goal is honorable then it must necessarily be achieved by pure and clean method. We say the rule in Islam is: The means are according to the rules of the intended goals.

In summary: There is no blessing in a marriage established upon sinfulness and corruption.

7. I don't wear hijaab based on what Allah says: And proclaim the grace of your Rabb [Soorah Ad-Dhuhaa 93:11] How can I cover what Allah has blessed me with of silky soft hair and captivating beauty?

So.this sister of ours adheres to the Book of Allah and its commands as long as they coincide with her personal desires and understanding! She leaves behind those matters when they don't please her. If this was not the case, then why doesn't she follow the aayah:And do not show off their adornment except only that which is apparent[Soorah An-Noor 24:31] and the statement of Allah subhaanah:Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks all over their bodies [Soorah Al-Ahzaab 33:59]?

With this statement my sister you have now made a shari'ah (law) for yourself of what Allah ta'aala has strictly forbidden, namely beautification (at-tabarruj) and uncovering (as-sufoor), and the reason: Your lack of wanting to adhere to the order. The greatest blessing or favor that Allah has bestowed upon us is that of Eemaan (faith) and hidaayah (guidance) and among them is the Islamic hijaab. Why then do you not manifest and talk about this greatest of blessings given to you?

In summary: Is there a greater blessing and favor upon the woman than guidance and hijaab?

8. I know that hijaab is obligatory (waajib), but I will wear it when Allah guides me to do so..

We ask this sister on what plans or steps she will undertake until she accepts this divine guidance? We know that Allah has in His wisdom made a cause or means for everything. That is why the sick take medicine to regain health, and the traveler rides a vehicle or an animal to reach his destination, and other limitless examples.

Has this sister of ours seriously endeavored to seek true guidance and exerted the proper means to get it such as: Supplicating Allah sincerely as He stated: Guide us to the Straight Path. [Soorah Al-Faatihah 1:6]; Keeping company with the righteous good sisters - for they are among the best to assist her to guidance and to continue to point her to it until Allah guides her and increases her guidance and inspires her to further guidance and taqwaa. She would then adhere to the orders of Allah and wear the hijaab that the believing women are commanded to wear.

In summary: If this sister was really serious about seeking guidance she would have exerted herself by the proper means to get it.

9. It's not time for that yet. I'm still too young for wearing hijaab.

I'll do it when I get older and after I make Hajj!
The Angel of Death my sister, is visiting and waiting at your door for the order of Allah ta'aala to open it on you at any moment in your life. Allah said: When their term comes, neither can they delay it nor can they advance it and hour (or a moment). [Soorah Al-An'aam 7:34]. Death my sister doesn't discriminate between the young or the old and it may come while you are in this state of great sinfulness disobedience, fighting against the Lord of Honor with your uncovering and shameless adornment. My sister, you should race to obedience along with those others who race to answer the call of Allah tabaaraka wa ta'aala:Race with one another in hastening towards forgiveness from your Lord and Paradise the width whereof is as the width of the heavens and the earth. [Soorah Al-Hadeed 57:21]

Sister, don't forget Allah or He will forget you by turning His mercy away from you in this life and the next. You are forgetting your own soul by not fulfilling the right of your soul to obey Allah and proper worship of Him. Allah stated about the hypocrites (Al-Munaafiqoon): And be not like those who forgot Allah and He caused them to forget their own selves.[Soorah Al-Hashr 59:19] My sister wear the hijaab in your young age in opposition to the sinful deed because Allah is intense in punishment and will ask you on the Day of Resurrection about your youth and every moment of your life.

In summary: Stop presuming some future expectation in your life will indeed occur!! How can you guarantee your own life until tomorrow?

10. I'm afraid that if I wear Islamic clothing that I'll be labeled as belonging to some group or another and I hate partisanship..

My sisters in Islam, there are only two parties in Islam, and they are both mentioned by Allah Almighty in His Noble Book. The first party is the party of Allah (hizbullah) that He gives victory to because of their obedience to His commands and staying away from what He has forbidden. The second party is the party of the accursed Shaitaan (hizbush-Shaitaan) which disobeys the Most Merciful and increase corruption in the earth. When you hold tight to and adhere to the commands of Allah, and among them is wearing the hijaab - you then become a part of the successful party of Allah. When you beautify and display your charms you are riding in the boat of Shaitaan and his friends and partners from among the hypocrites and the disbelievers and none worse could there be as friends.

Don't you see how you are running from Allah and to the Shaitaan, trading filth for good? Run instead my sister to Allah and follow His way: So flee to Allah (from His Torment to His mercy). Verily I (Muhammad) am a plain Warner to you from Him.[Soorah Adh-Dhaariyaat 51:50] The hijaab is a high form of worship that is not subject to the opinions of people and their orientations and choices because the one who legislated it is the Most Wise Creator.

In summary: In the way of seeking the pleasure of Allah and in hope of His Mercy and success in His Jannah and throw the statements of the devils among people and jinn against the wall! Hold tight to the legislation of Allah by your molars and follow the example of the striving and knowledgeable Mothers of the Believers and the female companions (radiallahu 'anhum ajma'een).

Conclusion
Your body is on display in the market of Shaitaan seducing the hearts of men. The hairstyles, the tight clothing showing every detail of your figure, the short dresses showing off your legs and feet, the showy, decorative and fragrant clothing all angers the Merciful and pleases the Shaitaan. Every day that passes while you are in this condition, distances you further from Allah and brings you closer to Shaitaan. Each day curses and anger are directed toward you from the heavens until you repent. Every day brings you closer to the grave and the Angel of Death is ready to capture your soul.

Everyone shall taste death. And only on the Day of Resurrection shall you be paid your wages in full. And whoever is removed away from the Hellfire and admitted to Al-Jannah, is indeed successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing).[Soorah Aale 'Imraan 3:185]

Get on the train of repentance my sister, before it passes by your station. Deeply consider my sister, what is happening today before tomorrow comes. Think about it, my sister - Now, before it is too late!